Airports are tricky if you are traveling in disguise. Not that I am right now, but this is my opportunity to check out both Seattle and Savannah since next time I won’t be me.
4:00 p.m.
That’s Savannah time, where I’ll be landing in about an hour and a half. I’ve got a round trip ticket, but I’ll be flying back on a different route with a different identity. That’s risky. Technically, there is nothing illegal about wearing a disguise on an airplane, at least to a limited extent. Basically, people can change their appearance. I can put on a different wig, gain weight, grow up (or maybe not), and even grow or shave my facial hair. I can wear different makeup, change the color of my eyes with contacts, or even fake a limp. What I can’t do (legally) is travel with someone else’s identity papers. That’s what I intend to do coming back.
Why? If everything is at risk, why try to change identities. It’s not like it was when I flew to Belize as a man. Face it, I was desperate and didn’t have time to change identities. But you just can’t risk making a mistake when you have to get somewhere. The only way to be ready is to practice.
Dag warned me about taking unnecessary risks. He used false identity papers when he wanted to investigate someone, but as far as I know he didn’t try to disguise himself or to travel under a different identity. Every time I walk through an airport, I up the ante, but I don’t do it for the thrill. Since 9/11, it’s been harder and harder to get through. Of course, that’s good, right? No one wants a terrorist to pretend to be someone else and walk onto a plane carrying explosives, but the truth is that detecting false identity isn’t the problem in detecting terrorists. When I walk through the airport security, I can spot the potential terrorists quickly, and it has nothing to do with what they look like. There’s something wrong with the way they walk and the way they look at the TSA agent. They don’t know where to look because they don’t know what the agent is looking for. A TSA agent looks at your boarding pass and ID. They might even have a miniature UV light to shine on it to see if it has been tampered with. While the agent is looking at the ID and boarding pass, that’s where you should look. But then comes the clincher. Every TSA security agent is required to look at the face of every passenger who appears to be over the age of 18. When the agent looks at me, I look at him or her. It doesn’t make any difference if I smile or if I’m crying. If I make eye contact in that moment that the agent looks up from my boarding pass, he slides past the rest of my face.
You can speed your way through security if you just do what they say to, as well. Don’t be searching for your boarding pass or your ID when you get to the agent. That doesn’t distract them. It makes them look at you more closely. Hand it to him facing him with the ID on top of the boarding pass. Let go of it when he takes it. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen look like they are going to fight the agent for their boarding pass. He practically has to jerk it out of their hands. Then he’s more likely to examine you carefully. What’s with this idiot?
But passing airport security starts before you get to the airport. Everything should be set before you enter the door. You should have nothing in your pockets but pocket lint. Take your belt off and wear slip-on shoes. Take off your jacket and take out your laptop. Stow everything you don’t need to show to security in your carry-on. Yes, that includes your cell phone. Ditch your liquids. You can buy shampoo, hand lotion, saline, or anything else you really need in an airport shop on the other side of security, or better yet, wait till you arrive at your destination. Here’s another tip: I carry a plastic sandwich bag and stuff any pocket change (yes, I usually wear clothes with pockets and I keep change in them—Dag taught me that), your cell phone your wallet with any credit cards and money in it, and your jewelry in it. That way, once you are through security, you can grab that one little plastic bag out of your carry-on and completely re-equip yourself in 30 seconds. I don’t carry a purse—ever. That means I can carry a small flat bag that holds just my computer and roll aboard a small suitcase. It takes me ten seconds to get my stuff on the conveyor belt through the x-ray. It takes me another ten seconds to gather it up and leave the security station. The less time you spend there, the less likely you are to be pulled aside.
Okay, none of that is unique to traveling in disguise. You should just do that regardless. People who are trying to conceal things often try to make a big deal out of something else, falsely thinking that it will distract the agent’s attention from what they don’t want discovered. Wrong. Well, with the kind of training a lot of new agents have (or haven’t) had, it might distract them, but a pro will just examine everything about you more carefully.
You might think you should find the shortest, fastest moving line at security. Unless you are travelling first class or with a platinum frequent flyer card, forget it. Those are the lines most subject to impromptu searches. I like to stand directly behind the husband, wife, and three kids who have a stroller, diaper bag, and half their household goods to push through the x-ray. As soon as they get through, the agent at the scanner wants to get the line moving as quickly as possible. The next half dozen people will sail through before they decide they can afford to slow the line down again. You will already be at your gate.
In spite of the fact that this is an 8-hour trip from Seattle to Savannah with a connection in Chicago, I’m flying coach. I don’t really need to and I know Dag would fly business class on such a long trip, but Grover insisted that he is paying my expenses on this case. I don’t believe he can really afford my expenses, but he wants to see the receipts and I’m not going to bill him for expensive airfares on the way out and Peg would never fly business class.
When I get to Savannah, I’ll check into a modest hotel I found not far from Grover’s home and that’s where I’ll make the change of identity. Don’t believe those movies that show people changing identities in an airport. It’s trickier than it appears, especially if you are doing anything extreme like I am. When I went from Mexico to Croatia, all I did was change clothes and slouch a little to throw that bastard Ray off my trail. I didn’t try to make the trip under a different identity. On the way back, I made the switch on the train before we changed in Milan. Crossing national borders was all done as me.
Well, I know this wasn’t a thrilling day to report, but the flight attendants just announced that we are on approach so I’ll shut down my computer now. Maybe more later tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment